I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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