There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
