thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
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