i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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