i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
