All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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