PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize