Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
