Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
