what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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