Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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