I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
