i just wanna soil my oats bro
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
