well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
