You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
