I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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