Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Randomize
