I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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