Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
