I wish you could order shots online.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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