Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
