Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
