They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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