Can Purell be used as lube?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
