I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
