i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
