dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I can't turn off my feet"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
