So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
