someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
