Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
