i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
