No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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