Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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