I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
