you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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