How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
