this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
