i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
