clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
