My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
True college students do jello shots in the library
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
