White coat. Heels.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
