Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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