Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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