@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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