i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
