I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
