Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
