That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
