I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Moan for me like Helen Keller
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My penis needs a shock collar
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
