I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize