suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
