I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize