Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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