How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Come see our sink grown plant.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
