Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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