I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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