RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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