im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
