I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
