If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
