We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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