VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
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relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
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My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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