Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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