so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
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