WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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